Feeling guilty after speaking up for yourself? You’re not alone. Many women struggle with the cycle of setting boundaries, only to backtrack and feel guilt afterward. It’s time to break that cycle and start communicating your needs with confidence and clarity. This episode explores how to navigate the discomfort of speaking up and find empowerment in doing so.

 

You’ll explore the connection between societal conditioning and the emotional tactics that silence your voice. Learn about strategic silence as a way to neutralize uncomfortable situations and how it can help you break free from the patterns that leave you second-guessing yourself. Plus, we dive into why your boundaries don’t need external validation to be valid.

 

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:

 

🗝️ The societal and systemic conditioning that has made you feel guilty for asserting yourself.

🗝️ The manipulation tactics that keep you silent.

🗝️ The problem with over-explaining or seeking external validation.

🗝️ The ONE thing you can do to set and maintain boundaries without waiting for permission.

🗝️ How Clear Quartz can support your clarity, self-trust, and ability to communicate with conviction.

 

Listen now and gain the clarity to speak up for yourself without the guilt.

 

FEATURED ON THE SHOW:

 

Shop Crystals that Support Your Unique Energy Needs – Shop Now!: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/shop/

 

Join the Charmed Community: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/charmed-community-opt-in/

 

Download the Charmed Morning Ritual Worksheet to help you get your life in order: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/charmed-morning-ritual-opt-in/

 

Register for the Crystal Witch New Moon Ritual: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/cwnmr-crystal-witch-new-moon-ritual-opt-in/

 

Want to take this work deeper and apply it to your life?  Inside the Crystal Self Healer Members Portal, you’ll discover how to relax your body, mind, and spirit through crystal healing, while learning to set healthy boundaries, build unshakable self-belief, and heal the wounds from past hurts. Click the link to learn more and enroll today, and take the next step toward lasting emotional freedom: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/crystal-self-healer-members-portal/

 

Want to know what crystal will help you right now?  Take the What Crystal is Best for You quiz and find out how you can start your own crystal practice here:  https://www.threecharmedgems.com/best-crystal-for-you-quiz/

 

Follow on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/crystal-self-healer/id1727392795

Episode #64 – How to Speak Up for Yourself (Without the Guilt)

Introduction to the Crystal Self Healer Podcast

Welcome to the Crystal Self Healer podcast. I’m Corissa Weaver. On this podcast, we blend the magic of crystals with the science of psychology to help you break free from chaos, ditch the overwhelm, and master your emotions so you can have more energy, get more done and feel better every day. Get ready to unlock your intuition and restore your true power as we cover how you can transform your life using crystals and self-awareness.

Are you ready to get started? Alright, let’s go.

Understanding the Cycle of Guilt and Boundaries

Have you ever found yourself in a cycle where you try to communicate what you need, only to be met with some type of resistance, to then walk back what you wanted or said, only to feel guilty all around?

I know this pattern well. It’s my lived experience for a large portion of my life. And frankly, it didn’t create a lot of joy and happiness for me.

I am sure you can think back to a time when you’ve caved on something because you felt uncomfortable holding a boundary, only to feel worse later because you’ve compromised on your values and beliefs.

The cycle of speaking up for yourself and then experiencing guilt is all too common for a lot of women and I say it’s high time we figure out a way to move past it. You with me?

Advocating for yourself doesn’t mean you have to be aggressive. It also doesn’t mean you need to have a polished presentation to sway people to see things your way.

If you’ve been wondering how to speak up for yourself without the guilt, this episode is for you. I’ll be showing you how to set a powerful and loving boundary so you can protect your peace and stay in alignment.

The Page of Wands and Its Message

The Page of Wands came up as the what to call in energy for a crystal and tarot reading inside the Charmed Community. By the way, join the community to access these free readings.

Anyway, this card in its most simplistic form, represents a message. When we look at the card, we have a person whimsically, looking at the wand they’re holding in their hands.

They stand on shifty sands, a clear blue sky around them, flames on their boots, and salamanders imprinted on the tunic.

With the fiery symbols here, the message this card is bringing is centered around change. With the orange tights symbolizing the sacral chakra, and the yellow tunic nodding to the solar plexus chakra, the card is drawing on the power of these two energy centers.

It needs to be said. The page holds a lower position within the court cards, indicating that the change is in its early stages, and that there’s much learning and growing to experience.

When it comes to speaking up for yourself without the guilt, the Page of Wands is reminding you, there is a whole lot of unlearning you need to do.

Overcoming External Power Structures

I’m sure you’re asking what in the world do boundaries have to do with speaking up for yourself? And I’m so glad you asked.

For any of you who are like me, you’ve probably kicked yourself hours after a difficult conversation because you didn’t say all the zingers and responses you might’ve said if cooler heads had been available to you.

Or maybe you’ve felt the need to provide details or over explain your position whether you’ve been asked to or not.

Many of us grew up in a silent framework that we all adhered to. One that had you speak when spoken to, asking for permission, and following rules established by someone or something outside of us.

And when those things outside of us hold authority and power, it can feel intimidating to speak up for yourself.

Those external power structures use tools and tactics that keep you conforming to their rules of behavior. This includes, but is not limited to keeping your thoughts and ideas to yourself.

Some of the tactics are anger as a tool of suppression, keeping you scared so you don’t speak up or resist their wishes.

Withdrawal of love and affection, using reprimand as a punishment to guilt or scare you into not acting up.

Throwing shade, or implying you’re too emotional or crazy to say or think things independently.

Understand the tactics being used because once you do, you can then work to neutralize the hold it has on you so you can speak up for yourself and not carry guilt into the situation.

Patriarchy wants you to have issues with authority, meaning you feel powerless against authority.

Women have been taught for centuries to compromise and prioritize the comfort of others over themselves.

And the fiery change of the Page of Wands is within yourself, my friends, not in or from another person.

The change from being the person who keeps their opinion to themselves for fear of ruffling feathers, to being the person who is comfortable in the knowledge that they may ruffle feathers, but share their message anyway.

It’s important to know that a boundary doesn’t need approval to be legitimate.

A system that benefits from your imposed silence is not going to give you outright permission or approval to create a boundary that works for you.

That would be like trying to negotiate with a jewel thief, hoping that they’ll leave the earrings you inherited from your grandmother. They don’t care and they’re not inclined to accommodate your request.

I’m going to offer that speaking up is part and parcel of knowing your worth and knowing when it is worth investing energy into something.

After all, it is your job to communicate your needs, wishes, and desires.

But it’s been modeled to us by all the daytime talk shows that in order to speak up for yourself, you need to insert your voice, thoughts and opinions at every opportunity, and that’s just not true.

Getting sucked into the mud, always fighting to be seen and heard drains your precious energy resources.

I also know from my years of navigating this system that it can be hard to think quickly on your feet, especially when facts and information is flying fast and furious.

The Power of Strategic Silence

When silence is unintended, it doesn’t serve as a decent boundary. But strategic silence can be a very beneficial tool.

What I’ve learned from my experiences is that not everything deserves a response.

Sometimes people need to sit in the stupidity of what they have just said and let it sink in.

So many people use talking with conviction as their source of power instead of having the receipts to back up what they say.

Let them say the stupid stuff. Let it sink in while the crickets are singing. And make that uncomfortable eye contact with them as they realize they no longer hold the power that had you act the minute they said jump.

As I reflect back, strategic silence has been the tool that has brought about some of the biggest impact in situations I didn’t enjoy in the moment.

That broke cycles of ineffective communication and my voice being unheard.

Strategic silence takes the oxygen out of the room, especially when the other person is used to and expecting pushback that they don’t respect to begin with.

The silence gives you time to organize your thoughts, decide strategically if and when you want to engage.

And then when it sinks in that the old patterns aren’t in play and they start to push back, know that it’s not your job to manage the emotions of others.

Feelings are not facts.

Let them have a tantrum.

The uncomfortableness they’re experiencing because you’ve communicated you are not participating in the cycle of control has been delivered effectively.

By not fighting to get their validation of you or asking for permission or, seeking buy-in from them, you send a clear message. You are powerfully speaking up for yourself, and by avoiding the cycle of regret, you free yourself from the guilt that often follows.

Clear Quartz: The Crystal for Communication

Clear Quartz is the crystal I’m going to recommend today, and here’s why.

When you second guess your feelings or struggle to find the right words, Clear Quartz acts as an energetic filter helping you separate external noise from your internal wisdom. It will help you sharpen your focus, gain a deeper understanding of your own needs, and confidently recognize what must be said.

Clear Quartz can act as an energetic anchor helping you hold steady when challenged so you don’t waiver or retreat into self-doubt. Its high vibrational energy aligns you with your inner power, reminding you that your voice is valid and does not require external validation, reinforcing your ability to stand by your truth, even when faced with resistance.

In moments where words are unnecessary or when allowing someone else’s discomfort to settle in is the most effective course of action, Clear Quartz helps you resist the urge to fill the space with explanations. It clears away emotional reactivity, helping you embrace stillness as a tool of empowerment rather than submission.

When the time does come to vocalize your needs, Clear Quartz enhances communication by amplifying your authentic voice. Whether you’re setting a boundary, advocating for yourself, or simply expressing what you need, Clear Quartz ensures that your words carry strength and resonance.

Clear Quartz has the ability to align and amplify the energy of any chakra, making it one of the most versatile crystals for personal growth and transformation.

When paired with the Page of Wands whose energy is rooted in curiosity, inspiration, and bold self-expression, Clear Quartz amplifies both the fiery motivation of the solar plexus and the fluid adaptability of the sacral chakra. It encourages you to trust your instincts, take inspired action, and step forward with a clear unshakeable sense of purpose to speak up for yourself without the guilt.

Join the Charmed Community

Today’s pairing of the Page of Wands with Clear Quartz is from a recent crystal and tarot forecast inside the Charmed Community. I invite you to join me in this free space where I share these readings weekly to help you align your energy and focus your week. You’ll also connect with others who are exploring their growth and creating change in their lives just like you.

Join us for free, the link is in the show notes.

And if you’re tired of being on an emotional rollercoaster, constantly juggling everything in your life, and you want to be part of a space that holds you in your healing, a space where you can feel seen, supported, and connected, I’d love to have you join me inside the Crystal Self Healer members portal.

It’s where we go beyond the weekly guidance and apply it to your life, equipping you with the tools, resources, and support to build your confidence in crystal healing and emotional self-care.

Inside you’ll find personalized coaching, healing sessions, rituals, and everything you need to truly empower yourself to live with more ease and alignment.

Visit my website www.threecharmedgems.com or click the link in the show notes to learn more and join me.

Conclusion and Next Steps

Today’s episode has been brought to you by the Page of Wands, Clear Quartz, and Strategic Silence. May we all master strategic silence so we can boldly advocate for our most aligned desires, boundaries, and truth.

Blessed be, my friends.

All right, my friends, that wraps up this week’s episode. Thank you for joining me here today on the Crystal Self Healer Podcast. If you haven’t already, hit subscribe, leave a review and take the what Crystal is best for you. Quiz linked in the show notes. Join me again next week as we continue to demystify crystals, how your brain works and how you can use them so you can have more energy, get more done, and feel better every day.