Struggling with Conflicting Thoughts and Expectations?

Find out how embracing contradictions can bring clarity and emotional well-being.

In this episode we explore How to Create Emotional Peace in the Face of Contradiction With Optical Calcite.

Listen in as we delve into the radical concept that two opposing truths can coexist. Learn how this principle can help you navigate cognitive dissonance, manage expectations, and release subconscious programming that drives emotional responses. and provides you with the clarity and stress reduction. And find out how Optical Calcite can support your journey towards inner peace, clarity and stress reduction.

In this episode you will:

💫 Learn how recognizing and accepting contradictory truths can reduce stress and anxiety.

💫 Understand the impact of rigid expectations on relationships and how to cultivate ambiguity tolerance.

💫 Discover how Optical Calcite can help clear energetic blockages and foster new perspectives.

Don’t miss out on practical tips and profound insights that can help you reclaim balance and clarity. Listen now and embrace the paradox of two truths!

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Want to take this work deeper and apply it to your life?  Book your complimentary Discovery Call here: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/calendar

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Welcome to the Crystal Self Healer Podcast. I’m Corissa Weaver. On this podcast, we blend the magic of crystals with the science of psychology to help you break free from chaos, ditch the overwhelm, and master your emotions so you can have more energy, get more done, and feel better every day. Get ready to unlock your intuition and restore your true power as we cover how you can transform your life using crystals and self awareness.

Are you ready to get started? Alright, let’s go!

There’s one concept I’ve learned to embrace over the years that continues to blow my mind. It’s a simple concept, but it is radical in what it can do for you when you are butting up against something that is the complete opposite of something you hold to be true. When you’re fighting against what is going on around you, applying this concept can bring about a profound sense of peace and help you release some of the subconscious thoughts and programming you may not realize are driving your emotions.

In this episode, we’re going to discuss how to create emotional peace in the face of contradiction with optical calcite by exploring how two things can be true at the same time.

I don’t know if you watched the Barbie movie, but there was a scene when America Ferrara’s character had a monologue that covered many of the contradictory expectations and standards that are applied to women. Many of these afflict empath and highly sensitive women as well, but often on a deeper level, when you consider, we want to avoid conflict and help everyone else before ourselves. And while it can be true that many women haven’t felt afflicted by these statements, there are plenty of women who have. And that right there is an example of how two things can be true at the same time.

While the concept of two contradictory truths coexisting in a movie script may garner some laughs or be easily dismissed, how does this phenomenon manifest in our everyday lives? You could start by looking at the cognitive dissonance, many women feel when it comes to deciding whether to take care of themselves because their health is important, yet not taking care of themselves because the people they care about need them. You could explore the love you feel for someone who happens to not be good for you because they hurt you either emotionally or physically. You could also consider the actions and behaviors taken by others that affect you and how they don’t have any weight or meaning when it comes to the worth and value you hold in this world. These are some of the places where many highly sensitive women feel conflicted, find themselves doing mental gymnastics in an effort to reconcile the contradictory thoughts with deeply held values and beliefs, and then experience stress, overwhelm, and anxiety as a result.

I’ll share an example from early in my healing, when my kids were way younger than they are now, and I was in charge of most of the daily running of the household and the daily lives of the kids. I had a rule that dinner was at 6:00 PM, and there was very little that I would allow to derail that time on the schedule. Quite often hopes would be late or miss dinner altogether, which created a strong emotional response in me.

At this point in my healing journey, I had very little mental and emotional space for ambiguity tolerance, and always found myself fighting against the hubs on this issue. Ambiguity tolerance refers to an individual’s ability to accept and work with ambiguity, uncertainty, and conflicting information. Researchers have found that if someone is intolerant of ambiguity that this can be detrimental to mental health and lead to depression when experienced along with stressful events and negative repeated thoughts.

And in this example, I had a very rigid, concrete, or unchanging expectation around when dinner was supposed to happen. And when the issue with the hubs arose, eventually I started to interpret that he didn’t want or care enough about me to be home with us. A totally unhelpful interpretation within this situation. You could say that the absence of making an effort to be home for dinner with the family is inconsiderate, even rude. And in real time, I would have wholeheartedly agreed with you. However for his absence to be inconsiderate or rude it would also have needed to be intended by him to be spiteful. Some people are forgetful. Some people mean well, but things like time, get away from them. And because I was holding an expectation that I was unwilling to deviate from, I was incapable of considering that something other than my expectation could be true.

What I needed to work on first was to recognize that he didn’t always set out to disappoint me by not being home in time for dinner. He wasn’t purposely choosing to come home right when the kids were nestled into bed after all the effort of the bedtime routine and shenanigans that accompany kids and going to bed.

He wasn’t sinisterly planning to add to my overwhelm and exhaustion by not being home for dinner and the bedtime routine. He could be distracted and still love me. Those two things can be true at the same time. He could be late for dinner and still care deeply for me. Those two things can be true at the same time. I could have had compassion for the pressures he was experiencing at work, or within his schedule, but not need to condone the way it disrupted and negatively affected the family routine, or the rules I was upholding. There is a big difference between having compassion for someone and condoning undesirable behavior. And if you’re experiencing mental, emotional, or physical abuse from someone, I urge you to seek support from a professional who specializes in dealing with these more serious situations.

However, if you find yourself caught in preventable conflicts, wrestling with self doubt, or feeling constrained by rules and expectations, whether self-imposed or imposed by others that hinder your ability to live life on your terms: that’s the work I can help you with because the moment you choose to shift these dynamics, you’ll be able to overcome stress, and reclaim a sense of balance and clarity.

How do you give yourself permission to live boldly when you fear, how someone else will react or possibly reject you? How do you have your own back when you worry about whether people can love you unconditionally?

How do you give the finger to the things you don’t like or agree with yet operate and flourish under the confines of the system you find yourself in? When you’re in these spaces of feeling like you’re constraining yourself to please other people, there is this energetic tightness or pent up ness? This, if you will, this is going to have a negative effect on your energy flow. When you’re oscillating between the force of who and what you want to be, and the resistant pressure of who and what you think you need to be, it’s as if you’re building an energetic dam that prevents your experience from being, from flowing, from experiencing a stress and anxiety free life. One of the things to notice in the example from my life is that I was imposing a lot of “he should” statements and thoughts around the situation. He should be home. He should be making more of an effort.

A nugget I have adopted from Byron Katie is when we are approaching a situation using the word should, we are actually expressing a wanting for our reality to be different, which is where our conflict is starting and creating our stress.

When you become aware of where your shoulding all over your life and other people, you can start to work on dismantling the thoughts and concepts you have woven into the fabric of your identity. And this type of healing is deep and profound, and can create the most beautiful feelings of peace and liberation.

The healing process begins as you learn to give equal consideration to thoughts opposing those driving your current reality, training your brain to forge neural pathways that make this perspective effortless. So, if you are currently sitting here believing your regular narrative, that you are unworthy, it goes to follow that you will need to start considering that it is possible that you are worthy. And in order to start believing that you are worthy, you will need to revisit, revise and release all the scripts and stories that you are repeating to yourself that convince you that you’re unworthy. Because the truth of the matter is that because you exist, because you are, you are worthy. You are lovable.

You are perfect, just the way you are.

You are lovable and perfect because you exist. You can love someone, and not want to have them in your life. You can respect someone, and not need to follow their advice. You can be successful, even when you make mistakes. You can learn new things, even when you think you know it all. You can laugh, even when times are tough. You can love, even when people are difficult.

The question is whether you want to live by rules that hold you prisoner, or set yourself free to experience all the things you want to. The beliefs you hold can be subtle in how they create a false narrative in your life, setting you up to fight against the reality of your worthiness and the reality of what is going on around you.

And when the systems that we live in that exist within our society don’t support you, you heal by embracing that two things can be true at the same time and they don’t need to mean anything negative about you, or take away from your worth.

In the Course of Miracles, one of the first concepts you go through is learning that nothing is what you see or what you think it is. That everything you think is because you have made it that way. Everything you see around you is neutral without meaning. Your job is to see where you have created meaning and understand that the meaning you have attributed is just a narrative. One that you may want to hold onto or one that you may want to release. How do you create neutrality when you look at all the things around you? You dig into your thoughts. Your judgments. Your expectations. And you choose to focus on the ones that allow you to feel the sense of wholeness and wellbeing that you crave. And doing it in a way that isn’t through force. If you’re feeling force or resistance, you need to go deeper and find the thought that is truly driving the belief.

I’m going to invite you to use the Charmed Morning Ritual Worksheet to help you dig deeper in finding the Grounded Awareness you need to uncover where you feel conflicted, where you’re struggling to reconcile the conflicting thoughts, and experiencing stress, overwhelm and anxiety so you can start to create a more embodied and aligned approach to how you want to live your life.

When I’m struggling with the duality of things, which in itself isn’t true because things are never just black and white, that anyway, when I’m struggling to see things from a different perspective. I love to work with Optical Calcite. Also known as Iceland Spar, this clear crystal splits and refract light supporting you in being able to see things through a different lens, or with different perspective. You can infer from it’s clarity that Optical Calcite is supportive for clearing energetic blockages, and allowing you to see clearly and recognize the self-imposed limitations or beliefs you hold, allowing you to replace them with more aligned desires.

The beautiful thing about the world around us is that there are examples of what is possible all around us everywhere. Women who embody what you desire to create for yourself. And to that, I want to remind you that you already hold that potential inside you. Your job is to remind yourself that this is possible for you too, if you are willing to dismantle all the black and white, this and that type of thinking that is getting in the way so that you don’t have to feel conflicted when contradictory truths exist. If you’re interested in doing this work, start by downloading the Charmed Morning Ritual Worksheet linked in the show notes.

And if you want to take this work deeper, I invite you to schedule a complimentary discovery call to learn more about how I can help you. This episode has been brought to you by Optical Calcite and the paradox of two things can be true at the same time. May we all embrace our inherent perfection and worthiness, recognizing that our flaws do not diminish our capacity to love and be loved. Blessed be, my friends.

All right, my friends, that wraps up this week’s episode. Thank you for joining me here today on the Crystal Self Healer Podcast. If you haven’t already, hit subscribe, leave a review, and take the What Crystal is Best for You quiz linked in the show notes. Join me again next week as we continue to demystify crystals, how your brain works, and how you can use them so you can have more energy, get more done, and feel better every day.