Handling difficult conversations is a skill that can transform your life. Whether it’s asking for a raise, setting boundaries, or discussing sensitive topics with loved ones, the ability to navigate these interactions with confidence and grace is essential. But for many, the mere thought of having a difficult conversation brings up anxiety, doubt, and stress.

In this episode, we dive deep into why difficult conversations can feel so challenging, especially for those who are naturally empathetic and attuned to the emotions of others. We’ll explore practical steps to help you prepare emotionally, manage stress, and assert your needs without losing compassion for the other person.

This episode is for anyone ready to face difficult conversations head-on. Discover how to stay calm, express your thoughts clearly, and stand firm in your desired outcomes. With the right mindset and tools, you can handle any conversation with ease and confidence.

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:

⭐ The root causes of why certain conversations feel so difficult.

⭐ Practical techniques to manage anxiety and stress before and during a difficult conversation.

⭐ How to prepare yourself emotionally and set clear intentions.

⭐ The importance of assertiveness and how to practice it.

⭐ How to use Sodalite to support clear communication and emotional balance.

Listen in to this enlightening episode and start transforming your approach to difficult conversations today. Remember, it’s not about avoiding discomfort—it’s about learning to navigate it with confidence.

FEATURED ON THE SHOW:

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Episode #31 – Difficult Conversations

Welcome to the Crystal Self Healer Podcast. I’m Corissa Weaver. On this podcast, we blend the magic of crystals with the science of psychology to help you break free from chaos, ditch the overwhelm, and master your emotions so you can have more energy, get more done, and feel better every day. Get ready to unlock your intuition and restore your true power as we cover how you can transform your life using crystals and self awareness.

Are you ready to get started? All right, let’s go.

When it comes to having difficult conversations, some people seem to handle them with ease, while others find them deeply challenging.

For those who struggle with difficult conversations, a lot of the discomfort comes from when you believe it’s your place to make the issue okay, or easier, for the other person. To smooth out their experience so they don’t have to feel the discomfort or cognitive dissonance. And most empathic sensitive women I know will choose to fix or address the discomfort of others over striving for their own desired outcomes.

If you’re someone who regularly finds you back down from your position, or maybe doesn’t even begin to speak what’s on your mind, this episode is for you because we are going to discuss how you can feel more equipped to handle difficult conversations with ease and confidence.

At any point in your life, you’re going to experience a conversation that causes you to feel apprehension leading up to it, or a sense of unease when it’s over. Difficult conversations are any conversation where you feel uneasy about what you want to say, what needs to be said, or standing firm in your desired outcomes.

Any conversation where you’re feeling uncertain about how the other person will react, or when you need to discuss difficult or sensitive topics. Those fall into the category of difficult conversations. This could be going to your boss and asking for a pay increase, or telling your partner that you want them to do something.

We all have that person we know who sees the world through a completely different lens than we do, as if they’re operating in an alternate reality with a completely different set of facts. Having conversations can be frustrating at best when there is limited agreement on the facts at hand, even before considering emotions that might arise from what gets discussed.

What makes a difficult conversation difficult is when you predict there’s going to be some conflict, rejection, or another negative emotion you will end up feeling as a result of the conversation. In these conversations you may be challenged to stand your ground if you’re talking with someone who has a differing opinion.

In their book, Difficult Conversations, Stone, Patton, and Heen suggest there are three root causes for what makes a conversation difficult.

The what happened conversation, where people disagree on the factual issues.

The feelings conversation, where strong emotions cause tension.

And the identity conversation, where pride and a sense of self are challenged.

The other week, I had an impending difficult conversation to have with the hubs. I love learning and expanding my skills and had been eyeing a specific course for the past year and a half and decided it was time to jump in and register for the program. Which means I had to own up to spending the money, and dedicating the time on the course. Oh, boy, did this ever hit on a few of my hot spots.

No one likes having a difficult conversation, but for some it can be more difficult and challenging.

Your sensitivity is an amazing trait that enables you to be empathetic and compassionate. When you’re faced with a difficult conversation, one that amplifies the emotions of the person you’re speaking with, you were not only going to be dealing with your emotions, but you’ll be absorbing and dealing with their emotions too.

Difficult conversations can trigger every one of your doubts and fears. These insecurities can interfere with your ability to assert your needs or express your feelings, creating a block and heightening your stress and anxiety levels.

And if you fear conflict and do everything in your power to keep the peace or avoid confrontation, the mere thought of a difficult conversation can set off your stress response patterns, challenging your ability to maintain your cool and feel calm and focused during the conversation.

Each and every one of us has an underlying need to feel seen and heard. But when you couple this with a strong need for harmony and approval, you may take ownership of, or for, the needs of others leading you to sacrifice your thoughts, desires, and goals in order to avoid the conflict that can arise from a difficult conversation.

Some topics tend to contribute more to difficult conversations than others, one of them being money, like my recent experience. Not only was I needing to manage some of my internal money narratives, I also was navigating narratives around spending money and whether hubs would agree with the spending right now.

And while this situation still triggers some of my habitual thoughts and emotions, having done the work to have grounded awareness of my triggers, the intention to change how I respond, and the aligned actions I can take allows me to respond differently when my triggers do arise.

Either way you crack the egg, when it comes to difficult conversations, you’re going to be uncomfortable. Uncomfortable if you choose to stay in a situation that you don’t like, or uncomfortable if you choose to move into a situation you like, but aren’t used to. The bigger question is where would you rather be uncomfortable?

It’s not about sticking your head in the sand and ignoring a situation or biting your tongue. But making a choice in line with your intention that brings peace and calm to your daily experience.

When you’re feeling this pressure, the feelings and experiences within your body can be alarming, causing you to want to run away. The increased sweating the butterflies in your stomach, the swirl of thoughts in your brain, the increasing roar between your ears. All of these body responses are conditioned in us to warn us about danger, real or imagined.

When you know these experiences are going to happen, you can then mitigate them by taking some simple steps, or what I call Aligned Action, like breathing, making sure you have put on deodorant, or by doing a brain dump of all the things you think may happen ahead of time so you have the time to work through them before the conversation.

I have a tool you can use to get clarity around what patterns you are experiencing, as well as identifying what you want to experience. When you use a tool like the Charmed Morning Ritual Worksheet that helps you get all the swirling thoughts out of your head and onto paper, you get to see what’s going on from a different perspective. There’s a link in the show notes where you can download the worksheet for free.

One thing that will really help when you’re faced with a difficult conversation is to pick your battles. By knowing what you really want to hold as true, your values and beliefs, you can pick which battles are important to you, and start to leave the rest for another time.

Another thing you can do to help with difficult conversations is to practice speaking up, saying no, expressing your opinion on a regular basis, and not backing down. Start with the little things, learn that you’re safe, build the confidence to do bigger, more bold statements. Or you could try ripping off the bandaid and seeing what happens if you feel inspired to go all in. You might surprise yourself by what you will receive when you just try something a little different than how you normally go about your day.

It’s possible you can express your needs and not experience any blow back from the people around you.

It’s possible you can handle any blow back you do receive from the people around you.

It’s possible you can have difficult conversations and be okay with being uncomfortable.

Knowing what you want, advocating for that, yet holding space and compassion for the other person but not allowing that to sway you and your decision, is key. This approach embodies Assertiveness Theory, which is about expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a clear and respectful way. Assertiveness involves standing up for yourself while balancing your empathy and respect for others. It’s about finding that sweet spot where you communicate openly, set healthy boundaries, and maintain your self-confidence, all while fostering healthier and more authentic relationships.

It may surprise you, but the more you focus on knowing what you want, and why you want it, the easier it becomes to navigate difficult conversations.

When your ability to experience and have negative conversations increases your relationships will improve, your confidence will grow, and you’ll end up experiencing more of the things you want to experience because you’re no longer putting others and their comfort ahead of your own, or allowing your potential discomfort to hold you back.

One crystal you can use to support you is Sodalite.

When you’re struggling to articulate your thoughts and emotions clearly, Sodalite will help by promoting rational and logical thinking allowing you to articulate your needs and feelings more effectively.

When the stress and anxiety of a difficult conversation has you overwhelmed by emotions, Sodalite supports emotional balance and calm by soothing intense emotions. It’s calming properties help to alleviate your fear and anxiety making it easier to approach difficult conversations in a calm, cool and collected manner.

If difficult conversations have you doubting your worth or fearing judgments and rejection, Sodalite can boost your self esteem, helping you acknowledge the validity of your thoughts and feelings. Sodalite supports the Throat Chakra, encouraging authentic self-expression which can help you overcome fears related to speaking your truth.

Sodalite also supports your intuition and insight, which will help you discern what is truly going on during the difficult conversation, making sense of the heightened emotions, and allowing you to tap into and trust your inner guidance.

By tapping into the supportive properties of Sodalite, you can navigate difficult conversations with greater ease, increased emotional balance, and greater confidence.

If you enjoy listening to this podcast, I invite you to check out the Crystal Self Healer members portal. It’s where we take all this material and apply it to your life with a personalized blueprint, tailored to help you overcome your anxiety and overwhelm. Inside you get access to lots of great resources and coaching designed to help you reclaim your inner strength and tap into your inner wisdom.

Today’s episode has been brought to you by Sodalite and Assertiveness Theory. May we all embrace the courage to express our truths, honor our needs, and approach difficult conversations with grace and confidence. Blessed be, my friends.

All right, my friends, that wraps up this week’s episode. Thank you for joining me here today on the Crystal Self Healer Podcast. If you haven’t already, hit subscribe, leave a review, and take the What Crystal is Best for You quiz linked in the show notes. Join me again next week as we continue to demystify crystals, how your brain works, and how you can use them so you can have more energy, get more done, and feel better every day.