Do you feel weighed down by the opinions and advice of others, struggling to discern what truly resonates with you? In this episode, I share with you the best advice I have ever received, the advice that when I was ready to hear it was the most impactful for my healing.

 

You’ll discover:

🔮 Why it’s not your job to control everything (or everyone) around you

🔮 How allowing people to be who they are can lead to more authentic connections

🔮 The impact of staying in your own lane and focusing on your own growth

🔮 Practical steps to release the need for control and anxiety

 

This episode will help you feel empowered to let go of what’s not serving you and create space for the peace and freedom you’ve been seeking.

 

Listen now and start living in a way that feels lighter, more peaceful, and in tune with who you really are.

 

FEATURED ON THE SHOW:

 

Connect with Crystals that Support Your Unique Energy Needs – Shop Now!: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/shop/

 

Download the Charmed Morning Ritual Worksheet to help you get your life in order: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/charmed-morning-ritual-opt-in/

 

Want to take this work deeper and apply it to your life?  Book your complimentary Discovery Call here: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/calendar

 

Want to know what crystal will help you right now?  Take the What Crystal is Best for You quiz and find out how you can start your own crystal practice here:  https://www.threecharmedgems.com/best-crystal-for-you-quiz/

 

Follow on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/crystal-self-healer/id1727392795

Episode #36 – The Best Advice I Have Ever Received

Welcome to the Crystal Self Healer Podcast. I’m Corissa Weaver. On this podcast, we blend the magic of crystals with the science of psychology to help you break free from chaos, ditch the overwhelm, and master your emotions so you can have more energy, get more done, and feel better every day. Get ready to unlock your intuition and restore your true power as we cover how you can transform your life using crystals and self awareness.

Are you ready to get started? All right, let’s go.

Everyone has an opinion. Everyone has advice they just love to share. The fun thing about advice and opinions is that most of the time they get shared when you don’t want them.

All new parents, for example, know the feeling of being flooded with suggestions on how to parent their baby. Most of this advice is given with good intentions. But let’s be honest, there’s a fine line between receiving advice and actually wanting it. Advice and opinions are great when they’re invited, but not so much when they’re unwelcome. When you’re left to wade through the plethora of advice given it can feel like you’re drowning, making it hard to trust your own inner voice.

There is this concept in the personal and spiritual growth community that is something like this: take what you need and leave the rest. Every day, we’re bombarded with an overwhelming amount of information. Sometimes you just need someone to give you the Coles Notes, the highlights, that nudge you need to focus on what truly resonates with you.

In this episode, I’m going to share some of the best advice I have ever received, advice that has had a massive impact on my own healing journey. And here’s the best part: you get to decide whether you want to take it or leave it.

The first piece of advice that massively impacted my life was this: it’s not your job to be the cruise director.

I was like every other version of the good girl out there. Always trying to smooth out everyone’s experiences, making sure everything went according to plan. I had an itinerary for everything, backup plans for my backup plans, and I was always five steps ahead, anticipating every possible outcome.

It was exhausting. Being responsible for every possible outcome ahead of time is no simple task. No wonder I was experiencing crippling anxiety and regular panic attacks. It felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Then my therapist dropped this bombshell: it’s not your job to do all that, especially when you’re not the only adult in the room.

That was a game changer for me. I realized that I didn’t have to control everything to keep everyone happy and content. I didn’t have to exhaust myself making sure everything went according to plan, especially when it was someone else’s plan.

Now, sure, there are times when planning ahead brings a sense of peace. But when the need to have everything figured out leads to symptoms of depression, anxiety, or panic attacks, it’s time to re-evaluate whether this behavior is actually serving you.

When I started letting go of the need to control everything, my life began to change in ways I never expected. My symptoms of depression became more manageable, and I found myself better equipped to handle my anxiety and panic attacks.

Instead of being consumed by the fear of what might go wrong, I learned to trust that things would unfold as they were meant to. I started focusing more on my own wellbeing and in doing so I discovered a sense of peace I hadn’t known before.

The need to control kept me stuck. Stuck in an energy of clenching, grasping and fearing the worst. But when I began to release that need, I noticed something incredible: I felt lighter. I had more energy. I could actually enjoy the present moment without being consumed by worry.

It wasn’t easy at first. There were moments when I felt like I was free-falling, uncertain of where I’d land. But the more I practiced letting go, the more I realized that I was building trust. Not just in myself, but in the process of life.

And that’s what I want for you too. Imagine how much lighter you would feel if you weren’t carrying the burden of trying to manage every detail, every outcome, and every person around you.

The second piece of advice that shook me to my core was this: allow people to be who they are.

We’ve all been there, offering advice, sharing our opinions, thinking we’re helping someone make the best decision. But here’s the thing: even when our intentions are good, there’s an undercurrent of resistance and resentment that can arise when we try to change or control someone else.

Everyone wants to have a sense of autonomy, to exercise their free will. It’s one of the greatest gifts of being human. But when we try to control how others think, feel, or behave, we’re not only robbing them of that autonomy, but we’re also setting ourselves up for disappointment.

You see, when you invest your time and energy into trying to make someone be who they aren’t, or act in a way that aligns with your expectations, you’re bound to feel frustrated when they don’t follow through. You might even find yourself wondering if you ever really knew them in the first place.

This advice also includes letting people think and believe what they want about you, whether you agree with it or not. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s liberating when you let go of the need to control how others perceive you.

The third piece of advice that completely shifted my perspective was this: stay in your own lane. This means focusing on you- your thoughts, your feelings, your actions- not those of the people around you. As Byron Katie says, “when you argue with reality, you lose- but only 100% of the time.” And as long as you’re trying to control the external, your circumstances, your situation, the people in your life, you will never find the piece you’re looking for.

So much of your time is spent trying to manage your external experiences. You think that if you can just get everything in order, then you’ll finally be able to relax and enjoy your life. But the truth is, peace comes from within. It comes from letting go of the need to control everything and turning your focus inward.

When I started staying in my own lane, I noticed a profound shift in my energy. I was no longer draining myself trying to manage the uncontrollable. Instead I was investing that energy into things I could actually influence: my own thoughts, feelings, and actions.

I know that staying in your own lane isn’t easy. You’ll face roadblocks along the way, moments when you’re tempted to veer into someone else’s lane to take on their problems or to fix their issues.

You might struggle with the discomfort of not knowing what’s going to happen next. You might feel anxious when you’re not in control. And you might even encounter resistance from others who are used to you being the one who handles everything.

I want to acknowledge that making these shifts: not being the cruise director, allowing people to be who they are, and staying in your own lane, come with their own set of challenges. You’ll likely experience resistance, both from within yourself and from those around you.

One of the biggest hurdles you’ll face is the fear of losing control. You might worry that if you stop trying to manage everything around you that it will all fall apart. There’s a deep rooted belief that by controlling your external circumstances and the people around you, you can somehow ensure your own happiness and security.

Another challenge is the discomfort of uncertainty. When you’re no longer trying to orchestrate every interaction, you’ll have to sit with the unknown. It’s uncomfortable, especially if you’re someone who craves structure and predictability.

And let’s be honest, old habits die hard. You might find yourself slipping back into familiar patterns, especially when things get stressful. You might catch yourself trying to manage someone else’s behavior or overthinking how you’re being perceived.

When you notice yourself slipping back, take a deep breath and remind yourself of the freedom that comes with letting go.

These are the moments when it’s crucial to have a system, something to remind you of why you’re making these changes, to help you navigate the challenges, and to keep you focused on your own growth.

You can start this practice by using the Charmed Morning Ritual Worksheet. Take a few minutes each day to set your intention, explore what is occupying your mind, and choose the aligned actions that move you toward the person you want to embody. In the show notes you’ll find a link where you can download this worksheet for free so you can get started on these shifts today.

If you’re finding it hard to implement these shifts on your own, I’m here to help. Together, we can work through the resistance, develop strategies to manage the challenges, and create a plan that works for you.

You don’t have to do this alone. With the right support, you can overcome these roadblocks, stay on track, and experience the peace and calm you deserve.

When I look back at these three pieces of advice, I see a common thread: the need to let go of control. For so long, I believed that by holding on tight, by managing every detail, every outcome, and every person, I could protect myself from the pain and uncertainty.

But in reality that need for control was keeping me stuck. It was preventing me from experiencing the freedom, the joy, and peace that come from living in the present moment.

Events are going to unfold the way they’re going to unfold. People are going to have their own opinions that may or may not match your own. And no amount of planning, preparing, or fretting will ensure that you never experience something falling apart or conflict.

The sooner you turn your focus on the peace you can control- yourself- the sooner you’ll find peace.

So take what you need from this episode and leave the rest. Know that you have the power to change your experience by changing your perspective. And if you need support along the way, let’s talk about how working together can help you make these shifts in your life.

The crystal I would suggest you work with when you begin to implement these pieces of advice would be Amethyst.

Amethyst is known for its calming and protective qualities. By creating an energetic field around you it can help you block out negativity and emotional overwhelm.

Amethyst is excellent for emotional balance, helping you quiet the mind and soothe the spirit when you’re feeling overwhelmed and the anxiety is creeping in.

Amethyst is also excellent for enhancing spiritual awareness helping you connect with your intuition so you can trust the process and yourself so you can let go of the need to control every outcome.

Amethyst is also a crystal that promotes peace, helping you slow down, to stop fighting against reality, and to simply be.

As you begin to let go of old patterns and implement these pieces of advice, I encourage you to work with Amethyst. Keep it close, whether it’s in your pocket, on your nightstand, or in your meditation space. Let it be a tangible reminder of the peace you are creating in your life, one step at a time.

And remember you don’t have to do this alone. If you find yourself struggling, feeling stuck, or simply needing more guidance, I’m here to support you. Join me inside the Crystal Self Healer members portal where we can take what you’ve learned here and apply it to your life using tools like Amethyst and personalized coaching that resonate most deeply with you.

Today’s episode has been brought to you by Amethyst and releasing the need for control. May we all embrace the freedom that comes from letting go, allowing others to walk their paths, and trusting that our own journey is unfolding perfectly. Blessed be, my friends.

All right, my friends, that wraps up this week’s episode. Thank you for joining me here today on the Crystal Self Healer Podcast. If you haven’t already, hit subscribe, leave a review, and take the What Crystal is Best for You quiz linked in the show notes. Join me again next week as we continue to demystify crystals, how your brain works, and how you can use them so you can have more energy, get more done, and feel better every day.