Everyone wants to be confident, but not everyone has developed their self-trust and confidence to a place where they don’t look to others for validation.

Seeking validation from others can actually lower your confidence making it harder to boost self-trust.

Confidence isn’t something that is taught in school, so it’s no wonder many people struggle with it.  That’s why in this episode we’re going to discuss how to boost self-trust and confidence with crystals.

Listen in as we:

💫 Explore why you seek external validation, its roots in societal and familial conditioning, and how it affects your self-worth and decision-making.

💫 Learn how to shift your perspective and dismantle negative attachments to external opinions, so you can reclaim your power and inner peace.

💫 Discover how Tiger’s Eye can help you stabilize your emotions, instill courage, and foster self-trust, reducing your need for external validation.

Your journey to a balanced and harmonious life begins with you deciding you deserve it, so listen now and to get started. Let’s do this!

FEATURED ON THE SHOW:

Stabilize your energy and create a sense of confidence with Tiger’s Eye: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/product/tiger-eye-tumbled-stone/

Download the Charmed Morning Ritual Worksheet to help you get your life in order: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/charmed-morning-ritual-opt-in/

Want to take this work deeper and apply it to your life?  Book your complimentary Discovery Call here: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/calendar

Want to know what crystal will help you right now?  Take the What Crystal is Best for You quiz and find out how you can start your own crystal practice here:  https://www.threecharmedgems.com/best-crystal-for-you-quiz/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/crystal-self-healer/id1727392795

Episode #27 – Boost Self-Trust & Confidence with Crystals

Welcome to the Crystal Self Healer Podcast. I’m Carissa Weaver. On this podcast, we blend the magic of crystals with the science of psychology to help you break free from chaos, ditch the overwhelm, and master your emotions so you can have more energy, get more done, and feel better every day. Get ready to unlock your intuition and restore your true power as we cover how you can transform your life using crystals and self awareness.

Are you ready to get started? All right, let’s go.

Have you ever worked tirelessly on a project, pouring your heart and soul into it, only to receive lukewarm feedback when you share it with a loved one.

Or maybe you’re passionate about following your dreams and charting your own path, but those around you are quick to point out where you’re going to run into issues, or where they think you lack the skills.

No doubt these types of situations have all your self doubt pop-up, maybe even sending you into a tailspin about whether you actually are capable of pursuing these dreams you hold for yourself.

As an empath and sensitive woman you may tend to look to others for validation, only to feel deflated and hurt when their reactions don’t match with the support you crave. In today’s episode, we’re going to be examining the need for external validation, why you crave it, and how it impacts your emotional and mental wellbeing.

By the end of this episode, you’ll be equipped with the tools to validate yourself from within as we discuss how to boost self-trust and confidence with crystals.

A lot of times we look to others to validate what we’re working on. And then we get discouraged when the support they give us doesn’t match what we wanted. What I want to offer to you today is that the validation you need will come from you. We can’t expect other people to understand what we’re working on. Because they have never done it nor have they ever wanted to.

So why do the people around you offer advice that you find hurtful? Most times it’s because they are projecting their fears onto you. They don’t know what it is you’re trying to do. They don’t have the vision you have. They don’t understand what you’re trying to achieve. And that makes them uncertain,

that makes them scared, and they think they’re doing you a favor by keeping you safe.

When you don’t receive the validation you crave, it can trigger some, not so nice emotions, like self doubt, low self worth, or even overwhelmed. This desire for external validation stems from a need for safety that may be rooted in one of the following areas.

From a young age, you have been exposed to conditioning where praise and positive reinforcement by people in places of authority is how you and the things you do we’re measured. While these tactics are great for reinforcing desired behaviors from people when they’re learning, the downside is that many times the skills of internal validation aren’t learned or encouraged leaving you with an imbalance.

Our societal expectations tend to reinforce this need for external validation as well. With a high value placed on conformity and fitting in, you may have developed a strong feeling that doing something that goes against the norm is extremely unsafe.

When you lack confidence in your abilities and you’re uncertain about the choices you’re making it’s natural to want to feel reassured. The external validation act as a safety net, providing you with a sense of security and confirmation that you’re on the right path. However, if you’re relying on others for your validation, it can perpetrate a cycle of self doubt that inhibits you from developing and trusting your own judgment and inner wisdom.

There are most likely many experiences from your life where you were acutely aware of the emotions and opinions of others. And there were probably times when you felt criticized or misunderstood that drive your attempts to prevent you from feeling the rejection or judgment of others.

This most often leads to empath and sensitive women engaging in people-pleasing behaviors or suppressing your own needs and desires in favor of keeping other people happy and content. Over time, this can erode your sense of self and create a dependency on external validation in order for you to feel worthy and accepted.

My daughter used to play soccer and in my opinion was pretty good at it. She started with the local rec team, then made it onto the travel team. Finally, when the travel team was no longer an option due to league issues, she tried out for and made it onto a club travel team.

She’s a fast runner and often was placed in midfield, and her father and I were certain that this is what she wanted to be doing. So we supported her fully by going to all her practices, all her games, getting her all the equipment, and signing her up for all the supplemental trainings.

And she did all the things soccer. It wasn’t until there was an unrelated blip that delayed us and making a financial installment to the club team that a truly revealing conversation was able to be had.

What we hadn’t fully known is that she wasn’t really enjoying herself. She was continuing to play soccer because she thought it was what we wanted her to do, so she was stuffing down her discomfort, her dreams, her desires in order to keep us happy.

Several times in the years prior, she had gently sent to us that she wanted to try running in track and field. We had responded by asking how the demands of track would interfere with her soccer schedule. And this is where everything was being misinterpreted by everybody and fell apart. As her loved ones, we were attempting to support her. Thinking that by asking the question we asked it would help her focus on what was important to her. Yet she was hearing a completely different message, that it was what we wanted her to be doing.

This example with my daughter goes to show that it’s possible that your loved ones are saying things because they truly do love you and think they are doing what is in your best interest. Even if you think they don’t understand. Even if you don’t want what they have to offer.

I think it’s important to recognize that when the people you go to for validation say things that have you feeling like they don’t support you, a lot of the time it’s because they’re projecting their fears and uncertainties onto you. It is their attempt at keeping you from feeling or experiencing the worst case scenario, or maybe the pain they have endured.

It’s also possible that they’re saying these things because they truly do love you and support you, but have not been able to communicate their support to you in a way that you are able to recognize, understand, and accept.

Language can be a flawed and limited way of communicating sometimes, which is why things get misunderstood, or lost in translation even when we’re speaking the same language.

That’s why it’s imperative to have the ability to shift your focus onto having a way to create your own self validation so that you no longer take things personally when maybe something was said in a way that doesn’t come off as supportive. And that also gives you a way to dismantle all the ways you can make the statements of others mean something negative about you.

Here’s the really beautiful thing about my daughter’s story. She was doing exactly what I’m offering for you to do here today. Even with the hurdles and perceived resistance, what she was doing was finding a sport she enjoyed that she could measure her success from her own personal performance, not from external benchmarks.

What created discomfort for her when she was playing soccer was her fear of making a mistake and letting down her teammates. She found this internal pressure to perform and achieve for her coach and teammates to be too intense for her liking and ended up not enjoying the game as a result.

And so by doing a solo sport, like running in track and field, not only could she do something that she was good at, but she could do it in a way that didn’t bring her unnecessary suffering, because she was trying to measure her value and worth by someone else’s needs and demands.

When something doesn’t work out the way you want it to, or the people around you don’t seem to understand your vision, you don’t need to make it mean that you’re a failure, or that they don’t support you.

That’s when you can start looking at how it is you are taking their statements personally, how it is that you are assuming that what they’re saying is a personal attack.

When you learn to dismantle the attachments you have to the thoughts about what they’re saying you open up to a whole new level of freedom. You start to rely less on the external validation because you’re learning how to see that what was said is actually neutral.

In A Course in Miracles, a lot of work is done around realizing that everything around us is what we project to be. In reality, everything around us is neutral, and it’s our thoughts about those things that create the meaning we give it.

So when you experience someone giving you advice that you immediately take as a personal slight or attack. Ask yourself what meaning am I assigning to this statement? Remind yourself that their statements are neutral, they mean nothing about you unless you decide to agree with it, or adopt that thought as your own.

There is an immense freedom you will gain when your validation is something you create and obtain from within yourself. You’ll feel more confident trusting your decisions, you’ll say no more freely to things you don’t want to do, and you’ll not be bothered by the thoughts and opinions of others.

If you’re resonating with this and want to start seeing where you’re making things mean something negative about you, I encourage you to download the Charmed Morning Ritual Worksheet from the show notes. It is a great starting off point to observe what your brain is actually serving up for you to regularly think and adopt as being the facts of your life.

It then prompts you to choose how you want to feel and what can help you feel that way. It is a great tool that can help you start to find relief the first time you do it.

When you’re needing courage and determination to create your sense of self safety and validation, I’m going to invite you to work with Tiger’s Eye which stimulates the root sacral and solar plexus chakra.

Tiger’s Eye is known for its grounding properties that will help you to stabilize your emotions and promote a sense of security. When you feel more anchored and safe within yourself your need for external validation will be reduced.

Tiger’s Eye can be helpful for instilling courage and confidence, empowering you to trust your own decisions and actions helping you foster a strong sense of self safety.

You may find building inner strength and resilience occurs when you work with Tiger’s Eye making you less likely to seek validation from others to feel worthy or capable.

And finally, Tiger’s Eye can help you balance the emotional extremes you often experience. When your emotions are more in check your urgency to look outside yourself for reassurance and validation decreases.

Thank you for joining me today. If you or anyone, you know, is looking for more personalized support on your journey to self validation and empowerment, I’m here to help. Inside the Crystal Self Healer members’ portal, you can access lots of great resources and coaching designed to help you tap into your inner strength and wisdom. You can learn more by visiting my website, or you can reach out to me directly through the links in the show notes. Remember, your journey to a balanced and harmonious life begins with you deciding you deserve it, and I’m here to guide you every step of the way.

Today’s episode has been brought to you by Tiger’s Eye and self-determination. May we all realize our attachments to external validation, learn to trust in our competence, and tap into the worth that is already deeply rooted in who we are. Blessed be, my friends.

All right, my friends, that wraps up this week’s episode. Thank you for joining me here today on the Crystal Self Healer Podcast. If you haven’t already, hit subscribe, leave a review, and take the What Crystal is Best for You quiz linked in the show notes. Join me again next week as we continue to demystify crystals, how your brain works, and how you can use them so you can have more energy, get more done, and feel better every day.